And they're off…stress…relief
August 17, 2005

With the new school year beginning there comes naturally a great deal of stress, both financial and otherwise. So many of us tend to worry, freak-out and basically go bananas. Just thinking about the supply lists; clothes; backpacks; long check-out lines; extras, (you know… the things that aren't on the list, but somehow our beloved children simply must have, for their best friend has one) can be quite overwhelming to say the least. I would suggest, (as a mother of ten) take a deep breath… count to ten, and smile. This may or may not be the worst part of it all for a parent, but hopefully a great start for a child who could be equally stressed, anxious or excited to be starting a new school year, or new school. It is important for your child/children to know that these feelings they are experiencing are perfectly normal and natural. You might share with them that other children, as well as parents and teachers are having the same type of feelings, upon preparing for the new school year.

If you have a very young child who is about to experience school for the first time, reassure him/her that school is going to be the most fun they will ever have. Every child has an emotional separation anxiety on their first day of school, but you must stay strong, kiss him/her goodbye and don't worry! As soon as you are out of sight, the tears vanish. They get distracted then the fun begins! 

I recall quite a few years, where I personally had six children to enroll. Let's see… five or six pages to fill out per child, while the youngest was whimpering and clinging to my leg. Well, you get the idea. Now, that was stressful, not to mention the writer's cramp…whew! 

Wouldn't it be nice if our children were born absolutely perfect? No, really. Good mannered, always well behaved in public, especially when your boss or friends are visiting, willing to take out the garbage or do their chores without whining, etc.?

Well, I don't know about you, but I, through the years with raising many children, have imagined this quite a bit! In all reality though, this was just a dream…

It is sometimes painful when we finally realize that our children mirror us. After many years of always trying to do the, “right” things with our children, for some of them to turn around and seem to want to do or behave just the opposite can be very frustrating. I've asked myself many times, “Why does this happen?” and always come up with the same answer.

In that each child is a very special gem, which through many years of soaking with the word of God and polishing with discipline tempered with love will eventually, someday come out a beautiful sparkling diamond! Yes, it takes a lot of serious work to bring a child up in the world today as we know it. There are many things bucking against our hard work in training our children up to be responsible, caring adults, but we must never give up! We must never say die!

For one great day our Lord and Savior will take our children one by one down from the shelf and use for His Glory! Nothing is wasted. The quality time we put into our children will someday pay off. The hard work of training our children up in the way they should go is going to some day pay off!

So… rest easy. You can only do the very best you can and let God do the rest and all our little diamonds in the rough will become shining lights that will help brighten up a dark and dying world.

Cherish every moment…Childhood passes quickly

Those wonderful pages our children bring home from kindergarten and first grade, with their little hand print, endless Mother's and Father's day cards, pictures drawn for no other reason than, “I love Mommy” or “Daddy” are just a few but very special reasons to thank God that you are a parent. These days of youth pass ever so quickly. Every time you turn around it seems a new shoe size needs to be bought.

When my older children were young I didn't realize just how quickly they would grow up and leave home. When the day came around where my oldest son and daughter were ready to venture out into the world…I was sort of shell shocked/devastated to think, “What, your moving out?” I never saw that day coming. It seems now…it came so fast. Basically, I was totally unprepared for their exit. Somehow, as the years passed, never once did the thought enter my mind that, (someday) my children would leave home…Not that I'm stupid mind you, I simply never had those thoughts. I was too focused on breaking up fights, doing endless piles of laundry, making sure ten heads full of hair was trimmed every twelve or so weeks so the neighbors wouldn't think there were cave dwellers living next door, etc. 

When your children are very young it never crosses your mind that “someday”… Well, it's good to be prepared, for that “someday” will surely come around. I believe the best we can do is try and prepare our children for the day they are ready to spread their wings, leave the nest and go out into the world to become the best they can be at whatever they choose to do in life and continue to, “be there” for them no matter what.

For now…enjoy every moment. Childhood passes quickly.

BULLYING… effects us all

Unfortunately, there are many children today who are targets of bullying. This “power struggle” comes in many forms of which verbal and physical abuse are just a few. The question is, “How do we deal with this age old problem?” Being “picked on” can have lasting effects on children who are gentle natured. It causes undue stress, humiliation, fear of the next encounter and may lead to learning problems. The child who is a constant victim may find it difficult to concentrate on his/her schoolwork or on an academic test, due to feelings of anxiousness and worry over their next encounter, either in having to run from the bullies during recess or dealing with the verbal or physical abuse while riding the school bus home.

The one thing bullies seem to all have in common is their need to have power over others. It is extremely important for parents to talk about bullying with their children. Whether your child is the perpetrator or victim is entirely your responsibility as a concerned parent to discover and deal with. Our children need our love and protection in a world that is filled with violence in every form. If we teach them kindness toward others at a very young age they will grow to respect others and will learn right from wrong in choosing their words wisely, and no doubt will grow to be the kind of adults our society desires to have as leaders.

There are deeper reasons than we realize as to why some children are bullies. Some may be in a situation at home where possibly they are being bullied by older siblings. In that case it would seem to be a never ending cycle.

In any case, every parent has a responsibility to their children. Teach them to Love. Teach them to Care. Teach them! We must change the way we behave before we can teach them to behave. Children learn by watching and listening to our example.

Children need discipline… tempered with love.
12-07-2005

When my older children were quite young, I cannot recall having to physically discipline them. They were well behaved most of the time, but when they got rowdy; I honestly didn't know exactly how to deal with it. I was very young though, as well, and didn't have the experience I have now. Through the years I'd heard many different opinions and continue to hear them today, concerning whether or not we should spank our children. Don't get me wrong. I have occasionally resorted to a good old fashioned spanking under certain circumstances, but only as a last resort. Yes. Children do need to be disciplined at times, but I've found there are many forms of discipline. It doesn't always have to be an actual physical, disciplinary measure.  All children are different from each other in the way they will receive correction from an adult. Some are very easy and will not require what we've heard called “tough love.” Yet others will test your nerves until you basically feel like they own the house, the car, the cows, etc. and will run you into the ground with their constant testing of their will against yours. So…what do with these strong willed children? How should we react to their seemingly constant pushing of our buttons? I know that getting angry does not work and can only make matters worse. As difficult as parenting can be at times we must see this “strong willed child,” who screams at the top of their lungs every time something doesn't go their way, as a problem that most definitely needs dealing with, but in a calm, yet strong manner. They need to be lovingly taught, that you are the parent and they are the child and basically that you are the boss, not them. Remember, the correction should fit the crime. I've personally found that taking away privileges such as, video game time, television time, anything they really like to do the most, works very well. Otherwise, you will live a miserable life with stress beyond belief… in their house, or their car, with their cows!

By K  F Stewart
Author of Twenty-One-Gun Salute:
Memoirs of Innocence Lost--Freedom Found 
***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Dear Santa…
12-14-2005

Merry Christmas!!! Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. Growing up in the northeastern part of the country, we almost always had a white Christmas. Even though the bitter cold would bite our fingers and toes unbearably, my siblings and I couldn't wait to drag our sleds (you brought us the year before) back up to the top of the hill across from our home, which took quite a few minutes to climb, just to experience the most awesome winter ride of our young lives that only lasted all of about 15 seconds. Oh, the joys of being a child! Nonetheless, there was one Christmas I recall, where I ran down the hallway stopping at the top of the stairs, listening ever so closely, for from my bed I could hear the rustling of paper packages, and whispered excitedly to my elder sister, “Santa's here!” To which she replied in the same hushed tone, “That's not Santa. That's Mom and Dad. There is no Santa!” I was horrified at this news and immediately began weeping, ran to my bed and cried myself to sleep. Now Santa, we both know that you are real and so do millions of children all over the world, including my nine year old son, who just the other day finished his letter to you. From what I heard, as he shared his note with his big sister from the back seat of my car, was the very end containing the words, “Game-boy; horse book; and baseball and bat.” He then proceeded to whisper to his sister, “If I get these three things for Christmas… then I'll know Santa is real!” Well…his sister and I just smiled at each other. Then reality stepped in and I thought, “Oh No, there is a closet hiding gifts for this child and not one of them is on the, “list!”  Now…my children know that Christmas is about Our Lord's birth and that you Santa are part of the magical spirit of Christmas giving and all, but since I have a young child who in his tender innocence still believes in you…well I guess I have some more shopping to do…

By K  F Stewart
Author of Twenty-One-Gun Salute:
Memoirs of Innocence Lost--Freedom Found 
**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Teenage years…

   Many of us older generation folks are for one reason or another having a very hard time relating to our teenagers. From one who’s, “been there, done that” this can at times be a heartbreaking and unbearable experience. I believe part of the problem to be, that we adults have somehow along this road, forgotten what it was truly like to have lived the invincible, carefree, exciting, loud music, free-spirit life, which completely enveloped our entire beings, as teenagers ourselves.  The generation gap does exist, but doesn’t have to be a deep valley filled with despair and impenetrable walls. Sad to say, most of these teens honestly feel that they can only relate to their teenage peers, and not their parents.  Where a teen has caring, loving parents is where the advice and guidance should be coming from.  

   I have been a parent of teens for quite a while and have experienced just about every situation you could imagine, and have found some very important keys to getting through these “generation gap” years.

   If you want your teen to talk to you… then you will have to listen to them.  A parent must remember that these kidz may be going through the toughest years of their lives. Their bodies are changing and the way they view their world is changing. Sometimes we look at their wanting to sleep more, as laziness, when in all reality and (studies have proved) that their changing hormones affect them in a way in which they may need more sleep/rest, during this life change.

   I know there is a lot of negative influence in their world as well, but if we continue to love our teens and be there for them, no matter what problems arise, they will get through and so will you.  Concerning our teens…invested moments are never wasted.

  By K  F Stewart
Author of Twenty-One-Gun Salute:
Memoirs of Innocence Lost--Freedom Found 
**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Batter-up!

I've noticed that baseball season and blooming Bradford Pears seem to walk hand in hand here in Middle Tennessee. Little League baseball diamonds all over are filling up once again with eager young players warming up for this season's games. It is here that the dreams of baseball are born.

Cheering crowds, concession stands and proud parents are all part of this phenomenon also known as “America's favorite sport.” As American and addicting as Grandma's apple pie, baseball will live on as one of the most savory of fair weather sports. 

I never thought that watching a bunch of baseball dreamers trying out for Little League could be so much fun, until my nine-year-old son began his baseball “career” this past weekend. I too now, have caught this contagious baseball fever and am looking forward as much as possible to being part of my son's dream.

Here's just a wee bit of Little League history for the curious out there: In the year 1938, Williamsport, Pa.'s resident Carl E. Stotz gathered neighborhood children during the summer and devised the first rules and field dimensions for his planned boy's baseball program. In 1945, Mac McCloskey built the world's first remote-controlled electronic scoreboard for Original Little League Field in Williamsport, Pa. In 1953, The Little League World Series was televised for the first time by CBS, and Joey Jay, who played Little League in Middletown, Connecticut, became the first former Little Leaguer to reach the Major Leagues (Milwaukee Braves).

If you have a youngster in Little League and enjoy reading baseball trivia, go to your local library or visit Little League online where you will, no doubt, find many more amazing facts. Let the games begin!